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Sale Lake City!

Weds February 25 me and my mate left on an 18 hour bus ride to Sale Lake City, Utah for her interview at University of Utah. We arrived at 6am-ish and walked to our hotel where we showered and took a little nap before heading to the Cheesecake factory. Now: side note. Spokane does not have a Cheesecake Factory. We are deprived. Seattle has one. So we decided to eat there, and only there. Get our fill, before we left.

We encountered a very beautiful mall (City Creek mall I think) and it was pretty awesome. Every store you could think of (except Rue21, where I get my jeans.. boo hiss). So nice. A creek running through it with fish, little bridges over it, and trees lit up in little white lights. Beautiful rocks/stone walls.

We had dinner and went back to our motel that had a small TV and NO cable. They had 5 channels that were all fuzzy. Good grief. Anyway — so the next day: the big Interview!! I dropped Laurel off around 10 and she went in at 10:45. She was done by 4 when I had already left to get her. She said it went pretty well and the program seemed exciting. I am hopeful for this!! I drove around campus, it is confusing but we’ll get the hang of it. I went to the grocery store and picked up a city guide. I read about the city a little. I took some selfies and put them on Facebook. I did a few other things while she was gone, too. Such as taking this picture of a Halloween haunted house:

crazybuilding

The next day we had to leave at midnight. We went to the Hogle zoo at first and were amazed that on a Saturday there were hardly ANY people there!! It was nice. Cold & windy but nice. I got to see my Polar Bear which is my favorite animal. We saw so many other cool animals and they had a ton of turtles, which we also love. We then were hungry, so we went to the Cheesecake Factory (as well as the previous night for dinner) and then to the Planetarium which was pretty cool. We didn’t see a show (we were tired and knew we’d fall asleep) but next time we’re there we will. We walked around the mall by the Planetarium and it was also very nice.

Later on we drove the rental car back to the airport and took the Trax (light rail) to the Arena are (where the Utah Jazz NBA basketball team plays) and then headed to the Greyhound station.

We sat for 2 hours before boarding, and then had a 14 hour bus ride through Idaho (what a boring looking state, for the most part!!). Finally home. We missed our kitties so much. And got some good sleep. It’ll be hard to integrate out of vacation mode and into life as we know it. But we made an important decision:

If she doesn’t get accepted (which she will) we will move there anyway. We LOVEd it. The transportation system was amazing, the area is so clean, there’s a huge lack of homelessness and cigarette smoking (the #1 state for the most people who do not smoke!). The city was fun to drive around in, the people (6 out of 10 are mormon) are very friendly and nice, and we just had an amazing time. It is surrounded by mountains. We’re almost IN the mountains. The ski areas are 45 minutes away.

Salt Lake City Skyline, Utah

I thought we’d be inundated by mormon this, mormon that. But it was not really IN YOUR FACE very much. It was subtle, and it actually seems that it makes the people friendlier. I’m down with that. its not a very liberal or democratic state but that’s ok, I will be the lone wolf. I am here in Spokane, too, so might as well. I did however, see a “Ready for Hillary” bumper sticker (I have a decal much the same on my car) which made me smile.

We had a great time and decided in May we will be there. I might possibly get a lab job through my current employer as they have a joint-venture with a lab company down there too. We’ll see. There are areas with decent rent, not too far off from what we have now that are reasonable. We just need our cats, and a washer & dryer would be lovely.

I discovered that the Utes (University of Utah’s teams) are awesome and the stadium is cool. I want to go to all the football games, and see their world-class gymnastics, and their basketball. I’ll go to the Utah Jazz games. I’ll be a Seahawks and Broncos fan. Seahawks were apparently popular there, they had sold out of all their Hawks beanies in one store we went to. But they did have Sherman and Wilson jersies. Too large for me, though. I did get some shirts at American Eagle, and a Utes hat & t-shirt at Walmart.

Great city. Can’t wait to be there.

Clinical Diagnoses?

So my psychiatric office has an online portal you can login to view your appt times, and apparently, your diagnoses.

 

What the fuck? Bipolar II ? Um. No. I’ve been diagnosed 3 other times as Bipolar type I. my mania is moderate degree (except once it was major and I went into psychosis for a little while) and I am experiencing mania more often now than depression for some reason. So, II? No way.

 

And another. I was never told about this and didn’t know what this acronym was: MAD. I had to look it up. Mixed Anxiety Depressive disorder.

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mixed_anxiety-depressive_disorder

 

Howcome I wasn’t told I had this? And I’d been diagnosed with GAD, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, a long time ago and I thought I had seen it in my charts before. Weird! I don’t know what the F. I’m going to have to ask when I see the doc.

Back to manic

I am bipolar. And, I am manic right now. It took me a while to realize it and then admit it. My mate saw the first signs early on and had me call my psychiatrist, who had me start taking a 5 mg dose of an antipsychotic that I had leftover from a previous episode.

I have trouble sleeping. I get tired but wired, its a weird combination of feeling tired but having energy anyway. I talk too much, too loudly, and I ramble and jump from one subject to the next with no tie-ins. I sometimes have word salad, a term used in the psychiatry world to describe sentences that make no sense, and are just seemingly thrown together with random words.

I either have trouble concentrating on one day, and the next be very productive and focused. Its so weird.

I was manic during the super bowl, and my Seattle Seahawks lost to the Foxborough Patriots (yuck). I was disappointed but didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. I handled it well. Mostly because I took an extra clonazepam to level me out. But, the next day…

I was behind some people who were talking negatively about my Hawks and how they suck and whatever. I shouted at them. I just blurted out “Oh FUCK no!!! Fuckin Hawks forever, proud 12 right here, we’re bad and coming back and you will see. Watch the fuck out.” or something like that. ME. I did that. WHAT?????

I never do that. I barely talk to anyone, especially strangers. I’ve been outgoing at work, and a little too goofy at meetings, razzing my boss as much as I can.

I see the psychiatrist on Thursday. Thats good, because Wednesday the anti psychotic leftovers that I have run out.

Man. Life is crazy. I need to figure out how to stop squirming and pacing and acting so ‘up’. I need to focus and breathe and imagine myself in a serene environment.

Wow! What a difficulty it was this year coming up with the top 10. Not for
the same reason as last year, where there were SO MANY good contenders
that I couldn’t decide… in fact, for the very opposite reason. 2014 was not
really the best year in psytrance or psychill, I am sad to say. Despite this,
there managed to be 10 (and a couple more) great ones that I have picked
to be on the top 10 this year. One more thing. WordPress is giving me hell here so I apologize if the layout is a little crazy and nonadhesive.

TOP 10 PSYRANCE OF 2014:

# 10 – Ovnimoon & Rigel – Omnipresent Technology – Ovnimoon (progressive)
(bio from last.fm with editing for grammar): Hector Stuardos, known as
Ovnimoon, is one of the frontrunners to precursors of Psy- and Progressive
Trance in Chile. Playing for more than 9 years Ovnimoon spun records on
most of the big events in his country, like Loveparade, Earthdance and
countless gigs nationwide. As producer Ovnimoon provides a wide range of
styles from Chillout to Psytrance and has released already on labels like
Spliff Music, Geomagnetic TV, YSE, Groove Control and even on Warner
Rec. (bio from last.fm): In his early teen years Rigel experimented with
electronic kits, constructing flip-flop circuits, lfos, etc. Once he got his
hands on fast tracker and his first soundcard, the avid juggler Rigel quickly
moved to juggling audio in the computer. Together, Ovnimoon and Rigel
collaborate on an amazing melodic but pulsating progressive album with an
overt nod to classic goa trance. It is very gripping and an exciting, fresh
sound, sure to please.

Ovnimoon and Rigel

#9 -Burn In Noise – Beyond Known Space – alchemy – (psytrance)

(bio from last.fm): Burn in Noise (Gustavo Manfroni Amaral de Souza) was
born in Brazil. He was brought up dedicating his time and interest
completely to music. He’s been playing the guitar since his early days. He
played in 2 rock bands, up to the day when, during a trip to London, got in
touch with the psychedelic trance music. The interest in electronic music
grew fast and, in the end of 1999, started buying softwares for producing
music. This album, Beyond Known Space, really shows off some heavy
pounding progressive with highly evolved goa aspects that leave the listener
tripping through time. Put this album on, lay back, close your eyes, and
float away.

burn in noise

#8 – Hypnoise – Dimensional Shifting – antu (psytrance)

Hypnoise is a psytrance project formed by Juan Fontoira and Jaime Camara.

(bio from Maharetta Records): Based in Spain ,they join forces to create a new hypnotic nature sound marked by thick bass lines and psychedelic synths to make a groovy atmosphere that makes dancefloors burn.

Dimensional shifting has a very progressive melodic sound with some goa
elements that really balance along the fine line between the goa sound and
the progressive sound that is currently popular these days. It does an
excellent job however, and really takes the listener on an expansive
journey.

hypnoise

# 7 – Moonweed – Voice of Jupiter – anjuna – (goa)
(bio from Anjuna Records): MoonWeed started making music back in 1991
after discovering the London Acid House party scene in 1988.
Loving the squelchy acid sound he soon discovered where that noise came
from and sourced a TB-303 and some other essential analogue gear. Voice
of Jupiter features 10 classic goa trance tracks that really bring the tried
and true sound back to the forefront. This is true goa trance. It sounds as
though it was picked up right from where 1996 left off. It has that really
intense acid sound that is highly regarded amongst us fans of the old-
school.

 

moonweed

 

# 6 – Ephedra – Journey Through My Head – goa madness (goa)

Ephedra is Goa trance producer Alexandre Cohen from Belgium. (bio from
Suntrip Records): Alex musical trip started around 15 years ago when he
discovered electronic music.
He began slowly to buy dj equipment and started to play progressive trance
for his own pleasure.
After some years training with the decks he got intrested in many others
electronic styles like techno, house, electro and began to play in small
student parties.
After some time he discovered Goa trance / psytrance while he was at a
festival in Belgium. He was so impressed that he directly felt in love with
that music.
Some times later he began to play in small oldskool goa parties and started
to produce his own music. Journey Through My Head brings the classic old-
school goa vibe, rather than the new neo-goa style that is popping up in
droves. This album is highly psychedelic, with melodic twists and turns that
leave you entranced.

 

 

 

ephedra

 

#5 – Ascent – Nature Creations – Ovnimoon (progressive)
Bojan Stojiljkovic, from Serbia, a super friendly and kind fellow, who came
from a family with musical roots. He dabbled in rock bands, and then
became a DJ spinning psytrance. He began producing progressive psytrance
and psychill music in 2010. He has released several albums and EP’s as well
as collaborations with other artists. This album does not display as much pounding forceful beats as his previous album from 2013, but is still very pulsating and with rythmic melodies to keep you engrossed.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wa0wOs7ET5U                              ascent
#4  – Electric Universe- 20 (goa to neo-goa& fullon) – dacru

Electric Universe is Boris Blenn, goa & psychedelic trance producer from
Germany. The album “20” includes 20 tracks, spanning from 20 years of goa
music starting from 1994 and finally culminating in some psychedelic full-on.
The album flows liquidly into the styles, showing the slow development over
time into the modern shape of the psychedelic full-on genre.

Electric universe

 

 

#3 -Cold Project – Noctilucent -Occulta records (dark prog)

(bio from last.fm): Cold project is Ian Jukes AKA G.E.M_37 (1978) and Ivan
Steyn AKA Sense (1978). Both hail from completely different musical
backgrounds, but both have a common interest in dark electronic dance
music produced in early 2000’s from the likes of Son Kite, Tegma and Ticon
and many more of the forest trance Scandinavian producers. Cold Project
came to be in late 2005, with a will to create something dark and different
within the local South African scene, and a goal to create music which
bridges the ever growing gap between progressive and full on trance. With
Noctilucent they really bring the dark progressive genre to a mechanical and
mind bending deep atmosphere.

Cold project

 

#2 – Psysex – Mind Penetration – Hadra (progressive)

Psysex is an Israeli psychedelic trance project.
Formed by Udi Sternberg (a.k.a Dj Goblin) and Yoni Oshrat. Two close
friends started working together in 1998 under the name Children of the
Doc, a few months later Psysex was created. In 2006, Yoni left the project
and started to write his own music under the names Ace Ventura and
Schatsi. Udi is still making music by the name Psysex. The album Mind
Penetration is slightly zenonesque progressive, with highly addictive
psychedelic undertones that envelopes the listener in a world of enjoyment.

psysex

 

 

#1 – Pulsar and Thaihanu – Uplifting Minds – goarecords (progressive) 2013*
Though this album was actually released in December of 2013, I didn’t get
my hands on a copy until January, so I am counting this as 2014, because
lets face it, most people listen to December’s music in the next year to
come. For this reason I had to include it. Aside from that, this was an album
I simply could not ‘put down’ so to speak. Pulsating beats, rhythmic and stylish. I do not usually like samples or talking in my music (which, unfortunately, is common in psychedelic electronic music), however the samples were so very well executed and worked into the tracks that they actually accented them instead of took away from them. This album showcased a very different vibe and ingenuity that you don’t normally see in the progressive scene these days. Very awesome album. As a result, It is #1 and I am pleased to present it to you.

pulsar and thaihanu

There were a few more exceptional albums that didn’t quite make the cut but were very impressive and I urge you to check them out as well:

Liquid Sound & Pulsar – Liquid Pulses – power house –
(psytrance)

Labyr1nth – Nirvana Network – ovnimoon (progressive)

That Does it for the psytrance of the year (and one from late 2013 that I included as my #1)

 

TOP 10 PSYCHILL ALBUMS OF 2014

# 10 -Androcell – Imbue – altar (psydub)

Androcell is Tyler Smith who releases his 4th album here on Altar records.
This centers on some dubby deep sounds, at times very psychedelic and
funky. Tyler likes to fully enrich and embody his music with a hint of mysticism, and it really is an impressive work of art.

androcell

# 9 – Psyrius – Sorry Pluto – uxmal (psychill)

Psyrius is a psychill producer born in 1988. His album Sorry Pluto climbed up
the Beatport charts this year, and its no wonder why. Slightly space ambient
building up to some mellow psychill with psychedelic twists really got heads
turning this year. This album is space ambient and then also mellow psychill with a slight
psychedelic twist in some songs.

psyrius

# 8 -Sattyananda – Mind Expansion

(bio from last.fm): SATTYANANDA a.k.a Nikhel Kumar Mahajan, born in
1979… was expressing his inner experiences through abstract art forms. At
the age of 16 Nikhel was introduced to the world of computers where he
found his thoughts and ideas coming to life. Nikhel is a student of graphic
design and a qualified Sound Engineer. This album is pretty upbeat and has
some very psychedelic and chunky ahrd-pounding beats, with bass to match.

sattyananda

 

# 7 – Asura – Radio Universe – ultimae (psybient/ambient)

This album seemed to take a long time in the making. I remember hearing about it in early 2013 and it wasn’t released until the 4th quarter of 2014. We were all beginning to wonder what Charles Farwell was up to. Well… he was up to making a very ambitious album – a departure, too, from his last few albums which centered on the 4/4 psychill-progressive (or deep trance as some call it). This instead starts out as space ambient with minimal IDM-style beats, and slowly wanders into a more textured territory, giving a large nod to a sort-of Solar Fields style of sound. This album is pretty flawless, and inspired.

asura

 

# 6 – Sundial Aeon – Analysis – impact (psychill)

(bio from last.fm): In 2005 Sundial was formed in Poland by the creative
ideas of Aural Planet artists Radoslaw Kochman (Raiden), Daniel Lulkowski
(hoyden space) and two other musicians, Jaroslaw Jacek (GiKu) and Patryk
Gegniewicz (revisq) from the electronic act Itoa. In the autumn of 2006
Vladislav Isaev (Scann-Tec) joined Sundial as a full time musician and band
DJ. Sundial Aeon music is already used in many projects like games,
multimedia presentations, websites, tv and radio jingles.

sundial aeon

 

 

# 5 – Psyfactor – Retroscientific – sentimony (psychill)

Psyfactor is Dmitri Korablin from Moscow, Russia. I chose this album to be
in the top 10 because it was very psychedelic and a very easy listen. That being said, I did have to give this album a few listens in order to cement its place in the top 5 of the best of the best this year. It might in some places sound like your typical relaxing psychill, but it doesn’t depart from the PSY aspect of the chill, in any way. Prepare to be surprised at the little twists and hints (zest?) in these tracks.

psyfactor

 

# 4 –  Cosmic Replicant – Mission Infinity – altar (psychill)

Paul Shirshin aka Cosmic Replicant returns with his 3rd release on Altar
Records. Another album was released in 2014, but I found this album to be
the strongest work that really pulled me in. Very chill, almost ambient at
times, but with really gripping melodies.

cosmic replicant

 

 

 

# 3 – Unusual Cosmic Process – Aquatic – uxmal (psychill)

(bio from last.fm): Runar Кristinsson began to produce his music in 2006. In
2000 year he started to work as a DJ in Night Club “JOS” in Mykolaiv city
under a nickname Armando Valencia. But soon he realized that composing
music brings him more pleasure that just being a DJ. He started doing this
in 2006. Aquatic is an album that really reaches for the outskirts of
psychedelic ethereal mystery, with its unique sounds that pull the listener
in. I found all of the tracks on this album to be strong, which is why it ended
up at #4#.

 

unusual cosmic process

# 2 – E-Mantra – Echoes From The Void – altar (psychill/goa)

(bio from last.fm): E-Mantra is a project started in 2000 by Emanuel from
Constanta, the city-port of The Black Sea, Romania.
He started during the highschool to play with PC music software. He was
influenced by acid, techno,trance but his representative style is goa-trance
,psybient, downtempo. After several releases on Altar records with both goa
and psychill styles, E-mantra within the past few months has released a
sort-of hybrid album, with both goa and psychill. I included it in the psychill
section because the amount of those types of tracks outweigh the amount
of goa. Goa heavily influences even the psychedelic chillout tracks though,
which make for an excellent trip out of your mind. Some of my favorite
tracks on this album are the ones that have heavy almost hip-hop chunky
beats. It manages to still keep its chill vibe but really make your head bob
as you listen.

e-mantra

 

# 1 – Astronaut Ape – Flight 420 – Microcosmos (deep trance/psychill)

Astronaut Ape is Oleg Belousoff from Russia. He began producing club music
in 2005 and later discovered the blissful art of psychill and ambient music.
He perfected his craft with the album ‘The Mirror’, from 2012. In 2013 he fostered the amazing (and probably my #1 favorite album of ALL TIME EVER) Ten Minutes Eternity, which was also #1 on my chart that year. I didn’t think an artist could do that again… go #1 twice. But Oleg is a master! This deeply entrancing and involving piece of work features a slightly more trancy sound all the while incorporating the chill aspect very nicely. With its flying/airplane theme, it all flows together quite nicely. This is definitely an album to be reckoned with, and as such, it is no doubt it landed as the top album in psychill of the year. Congratulations to Oleg!!

astronaut ape

 

That’s it for the top 10 Psytrance and Psychill of 2014. It really was a heck of a time trying to come up with enough albums to make it, but eventually I found them, and I think they are truly represented in the best placement on the list. I urge you to watch/listen to the Youtube videos I provided, and if you like what you hear and would like to purchase these albums, I have provided some links below to help get you started. These artists worked very hard.

http://psyshop.com

http://beatport.com

http://bandcamp.com

 

Thank you to all the artists for putting out some excellent work, and thank you to the listeners and readers! I do expect some feedback, please leave comments!

 

 

 

Hi-Tech…?

Ok. So I first heard of this new sub-genre of Dark Psy earlier this year, when Alexander was contemplating adding it as a sub-genre at ektoplazm.com. This usually means it is something specific that people will be looking for. A sub-genre clearly defined.

But.. I am confused. I am listening right now to Galactic Crew’s Various Artists – Alien Control. It supposedly one of the choice hand-picked examples of High-Tech. I am listening hard. Trying so hard. I can’t see it. I can’t feel it. I can’t HEAR IT.

To me, it just sounds like: dark psy. I am sorry. I cannot tell the difference between this garbage and the garbage that is dark psy. I see no difference what-so-ever. Maybe it is because my mind is not fine-tuned to dark psy’s sound really (I do like Forest and Twilight (night full-on).

if someone out there can clearly explain it to me that’d be great. Ektoplazm’s brief explanation: “Typically fast, highly technical, with a focus on polished beats, clear bass lines, and glitchy sounds designed to reprogram the mind. Related to darkpsy, full-on, and psycore.”  just does not help very much.

Either way, I won’t be keeping any of this in my library. ick.

http://www.ektoplazm.com/style/hi-tech

Asura – [Radio Universe] Ultimae Records

So for almost 2 years me and other fans of Charles Farwell,  otherwise known as Asura, have been awaiting this near-beatlesss ambient project called Radio Universe. I remember hearing about it often in 2013. i couldn’t figure out why it was taking so long. I’d hear about other artists starting an album and maybe 3-4 months later it would be available on bandcamp. This one was a long time coming. And I got my copy and am relieved and pleased to say it is a great work of art.

Asura’s usual vibe given to both Ultimae and Altar records has been psychill/psygressive chillout with 4×4 beats. In Radio Universe, Asura breaks down those 4×4 walls and almost beatless ambient music ensues. It is pure space, atmosphere, and relaxation. Spoiler: It will be most likely on the top 10 psychill of 2014. This year’s psychill is actually including some ambient too – the genres are closely related so I figured it would work out.

http://ultimae.bandcamp.com/album/radio-universe only 5 Euros (sorry, I don’t have that symbol for euros on my American keyboard — also can someone tell me how in the world celsius temperature system works?!?!).

 

The preview video is right here. It was created by another Ultimae star, and one of my favorite artists, Solar Fields.

 

 

 

 

Up, Up, and Away!

Sooooo this month I’ve been manic. i didn’t know it, and was in denial when my mate told me about it. I just couldn’t accept that I was impulsive, had poor judgment, had destructive behavior and was too talkative and loud. Because you see.. I’ve been sleeping just fine (actually the psychologist found out I don’t get ‘good’ sleep because my brain at night isn’t doing what it is supposed to). I’ve been eating normally (ok ok maybe a little more than usual – bad stuff like candy and ice cream and pies – only because hello, its October!! Candy month!).

 

But I finally admitted I was manic so I started taking abilify and while some of my symptoms of mania haven’t disapeared yet, I can dfinitely feel the tiredness the Abilify gives you. Ugh.

I got the pregabalin that the neruologist had recommended that should help balance my brain chemistry. It is only 50mg right now, but the doctor said he’d raise it slowly. So we’ll see how it goes!!

 

Snowboard swap next weekend. Excited! I might find a board. I’d also like boots. I’ve been looking at sizing information and things like that.. Some of the information I read is contradictory. One site says my board should be 149-157 cm, others say about 161. This is because of my height and weight. I am heavier than I should be, and the sites say go with what you weigh, not how tall you are. So I did but each site says something different. So I wrote down all the info and will bring it to the swap, and if there are vendors or experts, I can ask them.

Thats about it, for now. things are good, pretty much.

QEEG Results!

Instead of re-typing everyting all over again (and that my memory of what was told to me has degraded since then) I will copy & paste the e-mail I sent to my mate yesterday from work:

 

Hi!!

 

I Thought I would e-mail you right now while this is all fresh in my head from my appt – I couldn’t take notes because he was late so it was rushed so he was all over the place. They are sending copies to my GP and pdoc.

 

Basically, the beta spindles that show up with 24Hz are indicative of bipolar disorder (duh of course we already knew this) and that I am precariously tipped toward the mania side – meaning it would only take a small stressor at this point to put me into full blown mania. I asked him if they found any prodromal symptoms from that date, Sept 18 when we did the QEEG that would indicate oncoming mania and he said not at that time.

 

However – he showed me what my brain looks like compared to a normal brain. It was all over the place. Certain parts that should be firing fast, are firing slowly, while the parts that should be firing slowly are firing too fast. He said this impairs psychosocial functioning such as understanding/comprehension of others verbal language and non-verbal cues, decision making, impulsivity, and distractibility.

Also, it was found that my two lobes in the front cerebral cortex (is that right? The front part of the 2 halves of my brain) are ‘locked on to each other’ meaning other parts of my brain aren’t communicating with the other parts of the brain that they should be as would be normal. He said this is why if I am focused on one thing I cant multitask or pay attention to anything else going on around me., or switch tasks easily. This also accounts for my problem with intolerance for patience. He likened it to me talking to you or my mother on the phone while another call comes through, and I let that other call go to voicemail, when it turns out that other call I ignored was someone trying to tell me that my house was on fire while I am standing there, not even noticing.

 

This was all I can remember, I will request a copy when I can. I might see if they can e-mail it to me. He suggested a sleep study, too, because apparently when he had me close my eyes I slipped into stage 2 sleep within 20 seconds indicating sleep disturbance. This explains why I can get 8 or 9 hours of sleep and still be needing naps. Even while I’m sleeping, my brain is firing incorrectly, preventing the correct stages from happening at the correct times, which gives me overall poor quality of sleep. The spindles were even higher with eyes closed.

 

Ultimately the neurologist recommended pregabalin (Lyrica), which I had already asked my pdoc about previously, which he said isn’t FDA approved for mood disorders, and that my insurance wouldn’t cover it. I checked with Premera and its true, they wouldn’t cover it, unless I had some sort of neurologic chronic pain. But he said it might be possible with the right paperwork to back up the claims that this medication would help me. He also suggested Tenex (Neurontin/gabapentin), something that starts with a V, and clozapine. He said the Wellbutrin and clonazepam are actually counter-productive to what my brain needs and recommends getting off of them.

 

Anyway wanted to get this all out before it starts to go from my memory. He said the very top of my brain is the most affected part showing big signs of issues…. They also found the brain trauma from when I was 13 and my head was bashed into the brick wall!

 

We will talk later about this of course.

 

Got to get to work, love you!

 

QEEG

So my psychologist performed whats known as a QEEG (Quantitative EEG) on my brain a few weeks ago. He told me the FDA just approved its use for determining the parts of the brain effected by depression and bipolar disorder, on top of seizures, which is what they were already approved for previously.

I was made to stare at an object roughly 12 feet away for my eyes open for 2 minutes, and then close my eyes for 2 minutes while the machine collected the data. He let me view a brief overview of the brainwaves, and preliminary glances concluded that I had beta spindles at the correct Hz for bipolar. He then said he would send it to a panel of neurological experts in Florida who will compile a 200 page report that will indicate what my brain is doing and where, how fast it is running, and what precise medications would be best to target that specific area, thus eliminating the use of the “med-go-round”. Also, before the QEEG I had to answer a series of questions that he marked down. He said I answered YES to 15 out of 20 symptoms of seizure disorder, which he says has now been confirmed as a link between bipolar. He said I can find the scientific articles at pubmed.gov and there is evidence now that a lot of people diagnosed as bipolar actually have a new kind of seizure disorder that they’ve discovered. This explains the correlation between the anti-convulsant medications and the use of them for bipolar disorder.

My next appt is oct 7 so the results should be back. Looking forward to seeing exactly what is going in with my brain!

 

He said a lot of psychiatrists in the area are starting to send patients to him to perform this QEEG testing to determine what the best course of action for medications would be. He said this is new but it is soon gaining popularity in other cities and will be a mainstream course of action for psychological diagnoses. Anyone else had one of these done yet?

qeeg

The Labor Dave Weekend has passed.

Ahhh… yes. Labor Dave Weekend went mostly well. We got to the concert Friday afternoon around noon and went into the venue around 3pm to check out the merchandise and see what else was going on. A few bands played on a side stage, which we didn’t really stay and watch for too long. We had pre-gamed with our own food and bev during the tailgating fun before going in.

Brandi came on around 6 and was amazing. We held up our “Raise Hell Brandi” song, and they played it right then. They played some covers and a few chill songs but mostly they rocked it and I think non-Brandi fans were impressed. During the Dave Matthews Band concert (actually right at the beginning) the seats had filled in more, and there were some real douche bags all around us. Blowing smoke in our faces, pushing us (so that we were no longer in front of our own seats) etc. So when it came time for the guys to get on stage I flaked out on holding the sign for Dave Matthews Band because the jerks behind us were bitching. And I got anxious and pulled it down, and the rest of the night kind of sucked because my mate was mad at me for that.The concert was pretty good though, although I wish they’d have played Crush (our song) while we were not having an issue.

We drove to our secret spot and slept in the car afterward. We woke up about 8am the next morning and after my mate ran her mile down the road and I tried pooping (no success) we drove over to Entiat by way of Quincy and Wenatchee. I used to live in Entiat, it is a town of 1100 people, although I don’t think that accounts for all the people who live in ‘county’ territory upriver and in Ardenvior. So there’s probably more. A lot has changed since I’d lived there… my old house is gone and they had torn down the apple orchard that was in the front yard. Now there is just a trailor (the kind pulled behind a truck) that someone is living in. Sad.

We visited an old junior high/high school friend of mine that I had seen 2 years earlier when we went camping in Entiat way upriver. She had a mirgraine and along with her 2 daughters, her 2 nephews stayed over. So it was a full house. We chatted and got caught up watching ‘Criminal Minds’ – good show! And took a nap. It was nice having a day to recover from the previous night. My friend made Spaghetti for dinner which was really good, and then after a while we all went to bed.

We  left for a while the next day to go shopping in Wenatchee (a half hour drive away) and first went to famous footwear, where my mate found an EXCELLENT pair of running (actually, triathlon) shoes, and I found some really nice flip flops.

After that we marched over to Old Navy, which I hadn’t been in for a long long time. I purchased a Seattle Seahawks shirt (yeahhhhhh!! The season opener against the Packers last night was awesome, the LOB was in full force and Beast Mode was amazing).My mate bought a cool new running outfit. They days are getting cooler so we’re back to running the treadmill. Also, this is due to timing because of her classes.

Later that day we came back to my friend’s place and hung out for a while again before saying our goodbyes. She has a really adorable kitten named Castiel, and an overweight pitbull named Dozer. It was good to see her and her family. I must say she is a pretty darn good mom.She’s only 1 year older than me and I could never imagining kids yet. I’m 35. Yikes.

Anyway that afternoon we arrived back at the Gorge, tailgated a bit, and went into the venue. We got some more merch and checked out our seats. 7 rows back (not including the pit of course). Wow! Amazing view. So close to the stage. Of course once the show got started, the tallest man alive and his amazon of a female companion were directly in front of us. This always happens. I am 5’3″ and my mate is 5’2″ so being tall and in front of us is just a given. But this guy was like 6’4″. Jesus. Anyway..

The people around us this time were pretty cool, less douchey. For the most part. We held up our signs and I saw Brandi point to us while holding up our “Raise Hell brandi” sign, and they played the song. Woohoo! She had a really good set and there were more people there on Sunday to watch her.

Dave Matthews Band had a great 9 song acoustic opening set with a fantastic Tripping Billies. They came out a half hour later for their electric set and just tore it up. We got The Stone during the encore, with the crowd singing the Elvis song “Fools Rush In” during the slow part, as Dave used to do in the old Dave & Tim shows back in ’99. It was pretty cool.

We got home that morning later, at about 2am. My mate drove straight home. It would’ve only taken 2 hours and 30 minutes, but we were stuck for some reason, in the parking lot not moving, for about 20 minutes and then the GPS (as well as apparently everyone else’s) took us on a weird way back to the freeway..

We relaxed on Monday and now are back in the full swing of things. My mate has school and work, I am at work, things are starting up. Summer feels over.. even the weather thinks so. Its been in the upper 60’s low 70’s. It even rained a few days. Whaaaaaaaat!

But this weekend should be in the 80’s again… maybe we will have an indian summer for the harvest season. That would be nice. I don’t want to do a corn maize in 50 degrees.

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