Why I Do not Like Oregon

I live in WA state. Directly south of us, is our neighbor, Oregon. Oregon is like the little brother to WA. Or more like the little ANNOYING brother that you really are not fond of.

And here are some reasons why:

1. Portland tries too hard to be like Seattle.

ImageThis is Portland.

And this…

ImageIs Seattle. Notice anything similar here?

Seattle is the Pacific NW leader of coffee, IT professionals, environmental nuts (not that that is a bad thing or anything but they are overboard INSANE about it in Seattle), and progressive liberalism. Portland tries to echo this as best they can.

2. When traveling to California or Nevada, or hell, all points south… Oregon is in the way.

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I can’t tell you how many times on trips south of WA where I just wanted to “be there already” and found I was STILL in Oregon.

3. What jobs does Oregon offer? You can’t tell me the economy relies soley on lumber and marijuana. there’s got to be something else… but what? What else is Oregon known for? (Despite WA being the first state in the NW to legalize marijuana, I think Oregon has a better reputation for pot farms and hippies).

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4. Why is the speed limit 55? When they rolled out the national freeway speed limits in this country and reduced everything to 55, we all complied. But when this rule was lifted, Oregon thought, “Hey man, we smoke pot around here, 55 is just right.”

SLOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

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5. There is a large growing number of soccer moms in some Oregon communities who are against vaccinating their children. These are the people who will be responsible for bringing back MMR and Polio. Can’t wait.

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6. Other than the Portland Metro area, Eugene, and Bend… where in the world do the rest of the people live? Nowhere. You can go 100 miles between some towns in the toolies of Oregon and not see people. Which is why I suspect other Uni-Bombers and the like must live there. (And possibly grow pot).

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7. The Portland light rail nearly killed me once.

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For those of us that only dream of having light rail (Seattle.. ugh) we are not used to it. So when you don’t clearly mark your streets as a light-rail street, or a one-way lightrail only… problems may arise.

8. Traffic in general is a little confusing in Portland. When you cross the Columbia from WA going to Oregon, you encounter this crazy maze-like concrete bridge structure that seems to travel around in crazy loops and twists and turns and doesn’t make any sense. This makes crossing into Oregon rather foreboding.

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9. Oregon is boring. When is the last time you read anything fascinating about Oregon in the newspaper?

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10. Portland is a dark, gloomy city, and the state of Oregon gets more rain than Seattle. People who say Seattle rains a lot are obviously not from Seattle or have never been there. But Oregon…

(Insert image here of cloudy/rainy Portland) — Thanks WordPress for the problem loading images.

 

The two things I love about Oregon:

1. No Sales tax! Lets all go to Oregon and buy stuff.

2. beautiful coast and beaches. Canon Beach, anyone?

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