Oh god. I weighed myself yesterday and I weigh 174 lbs. Holy shit, that is just like 9 lbs away from being the heaviest I ever was in my whole life. I am small boned and 5’3″ I should weigh between 130-140 lbs. So I am going to exercise my little buns off and drink a lot of water and eat a lot of salad, soup, and produce. I need to be serious about this, this is really scary for me.


I kinda had been feeling like lately I gained weight but wasn’t sure until yesterday. In 21 days I had gained 9 lbs. Yikes. I made a starting goal of 150, even though that’s still too big, its a goal I think I can accomplish if I am strict about diet and exercise. Lord help me.

We had thought (me and my mate) that I was swinging up into mania because I hadn’t such a need for sleep, was irritable, aggressive, impulsive, and thinking a lot, inside my head, perhaps a little too fast. But today I am kind of tired and could sleep some more. Maybe its the exercise, maybe its the big ‘crash’ after not even having a full blown episode? No idea. I think my depression has slid away though, the seroquel that the dr prescribed seems to be helping.

I need to also pay more attention and have better focus at work, too, in order to make my numbers each night and in July hopefully get a raise.

We shall see, we shall see.

150lbs, here I come!!!


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