I’ve been feeling ‘blue’ lately. I’m having a hard time with my mate, a lot of the time, because I can’t stop wanting my way all the time, or ignoring problems, or generally acting irresponsible. I have bad anxiety and want to shut myself out from the world. It hasn’t turned into full blown despair, however if I put my toe one inch over the line it could happen.
I’m reading this book called “Lightworker”. It is about Indigo Children, all grown up now (a Gamma Generation Indigo child was born from about 1979 to 1988), and how we all are starting to “wake up” now. A lot of us share common traits, depression, anxiety, mental disorders, addiction, etc because the darkness of the earth, the low and sludgy vibration is pulling us down. We get caught up in the material and have lost our purpose. A lot of us had a hard time in school. I grew up in the time before ADD/ADHD so I didn’t get that part of it, but I had attention problems, and motivation issues. I suffered in school work.
Our purpose is to bring light to the world… to make change somehow. Earth is slowly dying and we’ve been sent here to help prevent that from happening, or at least delay it somehow. We were meant for something greater and special, but most of us have been taught at an early age that psychic abilities do not exist.
Other traits of Indigos include psychic or extra-sensory perceptions. There are different fields and qualities of these, but for me, I noticed after reading halfway into the book that I am sensitive to touch. Certain fabrics, certain textures bother me, and this means my hands would be good for healing. Healing ailments, and sicknesses. This is what I’ve had dreams about, and had intuition that I would be good at. It is something I’ve actually looked into.
My mate is slightly skeptical, and I can understand that. When I went manic about 5 years ago for about 2 weeks, I thought I was Jesus reborn again or some such thing, and went on a “I am the chosen one” kick for a while. So now she is wary, as one would be, about this sort of thing, and worries I slide into mania too easily with this way of thinking.
But this is something I’ve thought my whole life. I’ve had OOB’s when I was a young child, I’ve had premonition/prohetic dreams, I’ve had extreme psychic intuition. I had my mom do a reading once for me to discover my spirit animal, and it was a hawk. She guided me through a forest and a desert and the first animal I saw would be the one that would be my guide. (I wonder if Ospreys count? Go Seahawks!!!!)
Anyway, I WAS meant to do something special, perhaps heal with my hands. I need to figure out how to do this, but first I need to get positive again, and let the white light inside again. I need to feel light once more.