The Love & Hate of Being Bipolar

If you’re bipolar, raise your hand. 2.6% of all people in the United States have bipolar. So that could mean YOU. If not, sorry to scare you. Anyway. My struggles lately have been exhausting. First I’m up then I’m down them I’m up then I’m down… then I’m stable but OOOOO not for long!

Right now I don’t know what I am. I’ve been taking my meds as prescribed, but am feeling edgy, irritable, cranky, can’t focus, lots of anxiety. I’ve also, however, been feeling fatigued, sleepy, ‘inside myself’ (quiet non-talky moods) and just generally a pain in the ass to all who are around (meaning my mate). At work I’ve been pulling myself together, mostly, and when I have a problem I meditate.

I need to do even more meditating though, maybe more than once a day. I need to be sure to stay on top of my meds. I spoke with my doctor who said that we will watch and see how things go. She goes on maternity leave soon, so I won’t be able to have a session with her soon until January. So we’ll see how this next week goes — if I can get a handle on things. I just need to get a handle on things. No more bipolar hangovers, no episodes, please! Because, if I’m not up, I’m down, or in between and I am getting real tired of it.

Aren’t you?

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