One day when I was about 3 or 4 years old (1982 or 1983) my mom was running the bath for me. She stepped out of the bathroom for a few moments while I got undressed. Suddenly, I had an overwhelming inclination to peer at my hands. I turned them over and over, looking at them with sudden awe. And in my head, I thought to myself with extreme clarity: “Wow… they put me in the body of a human.”
This memory has kept with me eversince. A bit of a smaller memory, meaning a little foggier and less stunning, was the out of body experiences that I had at nighttime around the same age. What else does one do when they are 3/4 years old and can do anything they want because their body is still asleep in bed? That’s right… jump on the bed looking down at yourself, because mom can’t hear you.
Growing up, I always had this strange feeling in the back of my mind that I was ‘different’. I have had a lot of psychic experiences, and my mother used to be a practicing psychic. She helped solve a murder mystery once. Well, she found the location of the body, anyway. They already knew who did it, but not where he’d hid the body. Anyway, so I’ve always been around this type of enviornment in some way or another (this is all true, my dad, who “doesn’t believe this stuff” became a believer after my mom made him see things in a crystal ball).
In the spring of 2011 I began taking my first antipsychotic. It was called Geodon and it made me manic. I had my first true manic experience (always before it was just hypomania which lead me to believe I had type II bipolar at first). I was obsessed with the idea that I was “chosen” to lead a path of extreme spiritual teaching. In other words, I felt that I had insight – a gift – to share with others. I began feriously researching chakras and chi, and energy healing on the internet. Sleep? Who needs it, I’m a prophet, baby!
Once the episode passed (incidentally, I threw that Geodon out the window, (not literally) because it made me unbearably foggy and sleepy and it was dangerous for me to drive or hold a penicl), the idea that I was some sort of spiritual guru had stayed with me but was in the very back of my mind, like a little tiny gnawing gerbil who had barely an impact on me. It was no longer an overwhelming aspect of my psyche.
But recently, as in this past summer, I began to get ‘on that train’ again. I read a book about the afterlife. I think it was called “A World Beyond” something ominous like that. It was written by a woman who was taken over by her friend who had passed on. His name is Arthur, and he wrote the book through her. I then began to research the things he said, and I found that most OBE’s and NDE’s as well as other books where people have spoken through psychics – the experiences were all eerily similar. So I began to take serious stock in the words.
I can finally tell you I am able to teach, as a result. The thing is… people won’t listen. They can’t listen. The majority of people on this planet are what I call “of the world” meaning their mindset is a result of the experiences they can see, hear, touch, and taste. their experiences are molded by video games, or the way their mother taught them “no” by beating them with a stick. Their experiences were taught to them in a structured form, in a classroom, or in a church. Indoctrinated, essentially, by the world around them.
The majority of people can’t hear me, because if they chose to hear me, their entire world – all they know, all they believe, all they want to do.. would be turned upside down. No longer would they allow hate to consume them, no longer would they breed inequality and injustices. No longer would people put themselves over the needs or wants of any other person or animal.
And the reason simply is because everything we’re doing is slowly turning away from the real reason we are here. The actual fundamental reason that He/She/It (the ultimate energy, the creator, the all-knowing – some call it “God”) invented us and put us through these tests is unknown and may forever be unknown. We are not to worry, however, about that part of it. the part we are to worry is how much love and light we’re letting into our earthly lives.
We are repeatedly born into bodies of our choosing to complete one simple task: To create and be the ultimate love. To simply learn to love against all odds. To essentially be Ghandi, or the Dhali Llama. (When I was young, I thought the Dahli Llama was a painting of a llama done by Salvadore Dali). To be the best, most loving, honest, full-of-light that you can possibly be. THAT is the ultimate goal, when the soul is able to transcend all ‘levels’ of the afterlife and live with the ultimate energy source (that creator that most people call ‘God’).
For, after our bodies expire, we go through a sort of transition period, where we are taken to the afterlife (some call it heaven while i have also heard it called “summerland”) and re-introduced. If in your last life you were depressed and committed suicide, or your soul was aligned improperly to the wrong vibrations *cough* Hitler *cough* you won’t be seeing the wonderous heaven that is expected or known to most, you will see the darkness of your own imagination, and perhaps never break free, or break free finally when you realize that you had the power to change all along, but thought yourself hopeless instead. I never liked the Beatles (I know, GASP from all, right?) but its true.. all you need is love.
Once there, you may be brought about by a special someone that you knew in your past, or someone very close like your mother from your most recent life. Either way, you will probably recognize them. You can re-introduce yourself, for a time, to all the freedom and love you suddenly feel – explore around (as you’ve done probably many times before without remembering) and say hello to long friends past.
Then you get to review your life and figure out the mistakes you met. Contrary to popular belief, God does not do this for you. There is no judgement other than your own. You are the sole witness of your most recent past life, its ups and downs. Then you have to figure out what you did wrong, what you did right, and how you can make it even better next time around. You have that ultimate goal to accomplish, remember.
So then you go to “school”. Where you learn how to grow and resolve your past errors. You can also choose to stay longer in the afterlife (there is no ‘time’ so nothing is hurried) and help with research. What this means is you can invent things and the project the ideas down to those who are receptive. Where do you think Einstein came up with his theory of relativity? He was asleep when the idea ‘struck’ him 🙂
Each life has a specific goal, which is part of the ultimate goal. To accomplish this, we need to learn to live with the light of love in our hearts. But in this world we live in now… that seems almost impossible. I wish I didn’t have these doubts. But I do. That is an error, on my part, because I should be full of love. But I too, am of the world.