The Worst Moments of 2016

2016 was a crap year – possibly the worst – and here is why:

10. My phone went all wonky and stopped working during filming at the Rodeo this past summer and I had to send it in for repairs which took 2 weeks. So I had to use a backup phone which was a pain in the butt – not as good as the one that went bonkers on me. Sounds silly, but this was an actual low point. I didn’t realize how much I rely on my phone for everyday things until that happened.

9. On the first day of warm weather in the spring, we went for a walk and over-did it. We went 10 miles round trip. And I hadn’t been ready. I am overweight, walk flat-footed and did not stretch first before going on our walk. So I ended up with plantar fasciitis in my left foot. I don’t know if anyone has had that before, but it is PAINFUL and hard to walk. I had to get inserts to walk on and it still doesn’t help that well. I then somehow did something to get it in the other foot as well so both feet have flantar fasciitis now. I do exercises and stretches and it helps but they are not healing very well. Ouch.

8. I was constantly having financial problems and had to take out some loans that were expensive to repay. Part of the problem was living aove my means just because I made so little money but still had lots of bills, but most of it was because of my poor spending habits.

7. I was manic most of the year. When I DID get stable, it would last less than a week and I would swing up again. I had many triggers this year and it was like one after another. The pummels just kept coming and it woul make me spiral out of control and that would then domino into other problems like fights and distance between me and my mate,or irrational thinking, delusional plans, irritability on a grand scale, agressiveness, and anger.

6. I had an auditory hallucination during an extreme manic episode in which I was highly paranoid due to (see #4 coming up). It didn’t really scare me at the tim, it just left me feeling like I must be crazy, and I had the neighbor listen and he couldn’t hear anything and I could hear it crystal clear. It was very weird and it was a sign that things were pretty bad, mental wise.

5. My step-dad’s father got colon cancer and then died from infections after the sucessful surgery to remove the cancer. I felt shocked and awful. Now he lost 2 imporant people (See #1) in the same year. What a blow. I loved my step-grampa too, he was a very good and funny person. He alawys asked how I was, and him and my step-gramma were always so good to me. I just feel awful.

4. In late September someone came to the back bedroom window in the fire alley and tried to get in. I called the cops and they found no one, but I had seen someone back there. About 3 or 4 nights later it happened again, this time my mate was home with me, and she and I both became very paranoid. The paranoia spread to almost every aspect of home-life. Every little bump, every sound, every momentmy heart was beating fast and i felt on edge and anxious the whole two and a half months left that we were there. We moved.

3. Shortly before moving, I was driving home on the freeway from work when a guy cut me off and I had to swerve onto the shoulder to avoid a collision. I ended up flipping my car and rolled 6 times down an embankment. My car landed right-side-up but facing the wrong direction, and somehow I just walked away. The medics checked me out and I had superficial wounds and a small concussion. My car was totalled, and now I am trying to save up for another one.

2. After #1 happened (see below) it set off a terrible chain of events where I “fell in with the wrong crowd” in a secret friendship that lead me to move out and leave my mate temporarily. It broke her heart and it was just a really awful situation. I amazingly was not manic at the time. I was calmly stable right before going into mania afterward. It was a terrible time and I feel regretful everytime I think of it.

  1. On January 14, 2016 my mother died. She died of COPD, as she had smoked cigarettes nearly her whole life. It was devastating. She had been in the acute care facilities about 3 or 4 times since october of 2015. Me and the family all kind of knew it was going to happen, but no matter how much you prepare or try to distance yourself from the situation, it effects you in ways you perhaps were not prepared for. On one hand I know how she is ina  place now where she doesn’t even need to breathe so she is at peace. But all the sameI miss her likehell,and sometimes go to pick up the phone to call her and realize I can’t.

This year sucked. F you, 2016. I plan on making 2017 a hell of a lot better. No one better die or get into car accidents or anything. let us just be tranquil.

Did I do My Resolutions?

In 2015 I vowed to do two things. I didn’t do a resolutions list like I did this year. I just explained what I needed to work on. Honesty and responsibility. I failed on all fronts. I resolved to stop lying. It is a cumpulsion and like a tic. I was better in 2016 than inprevious years but not that great, still. Any lying is not good. Responsibility was another one.I was irresponsible with a lot of things. I can’t say I acheived what I had set out to do or be.

My mom would definitely not be proud of me. And that hurts. I am going to print out the entry where I list my resolutions for 2017 and 3 ways I can acheive each one, and put it up somewhere to see it all the time. I really need to be abetter person. I all but destroyed the relationship with the one person I love the most. Breaks my heart that I could be so irresponsible with the heart of another like that.

I really have to work hard. It is not going to be easy. Next up: The worst of 2016. Wasn’t hard to come up with…

Best Moments of 2016

I wasn’t going to do this but my mate talked me into it. I thought I’d had enough 2016 stuff in here – the top 10 music and the blog about the bad rough year it has been. But here are some good moments that will be remembered as well. We shouldn’t forget the good stuff.

10. Picasso Painting for my mate on her birthday: For my gal’s birthday, I took her to the Tracy Aviary where a macaw parrot named Picasso painted a picture for her. It was super cute and fun to watch. The end product was adorable.

9. Balloon Races in Reno: In September we went to visit my mate’s parents in the Reno-Tahoe area, and watched the balloon races which started before sunrise. 100 Balloons soared up into the sky during mass ascension, which was the grand finale of the show – before that was Dawn patrol and Night Glow.

8. Halloween Costumes: We were “Lions, tigers, and Bears, Oh My!” this year. I was a tiger, and my mate was a lion. I held a bear with a scary mask on that had a poster attached to it that said Oh My! We ran the Haunted Hustle, a fun run at the Sugarhouse Park with zombies and a medal at the end. We dressed up again for a contest at a bar called Gracie’s where the prize was $500, but didn’t win. We also dressed up for the contest at our job but did not win that either. But that is ok, we had a great time dressing up and we looked really awesome!

7. Utah Arts Festival: We went on a Friday to the Utah Arts Festival which was in the summer. A whole large park had been blocked off to create a huge festival with artwork of all kinds, amazin food trucks, performing arts, and concerts. At night we caught Beats Antique. We ate some amazing food and enjoyed looking at all of the art. It was really nice, and a warm day.

6. My mate’s birthday: The day before she turned 33 we went out to this great sushie restaurant where she had some quail eggs and a lot of other stuff that she really loved. I hate teriyaki chicken, which was really good. Then the next day we went to the Tower Theater where they showed indie films, to see “Swiss Army man” which was a really interesting movie. We had a brew afterward. A nice summer hot day.

5. Seeing Family: Though being at my mom’s memorial service was rather sad, I enjoyed seeing a lot of family that I had not seen in many years. I was very touched to see my cousin Jenny out, and my cousin Sara.  I got to see my aunt, and meet my sister’s boyfriend. It was nice being able to socialize with them and see how everyone was. I miss my family often, and this was a good opportunity to see them.

4. Brandi Carlile at Deer Valley: We went to Park City, UT to see Brandi Carlile perform in Deer Valley resort, where, in the winter is a bustling favorite for skiiers. She put on an amazing show as per the usual, having her daughter brought out on stage by her wife, and then having a 9 year old come up and sing along with her. We had a tailgate before the show, with some great food and drink – especially the watermelon rum slushie that my mate made. It was so good I drank all mine down before she had a chance to pour her own.

3. While visiting my mate’s parents this summer, we went kayaking. Her mother had survived cancer and as a present, she got kayaks. We went up to a lake up in the Tahoe area (I did not realize how many lakes are up there!) and took turns in the kayak. It was a nice warm day and I really enjoyed being out on the water with the light breeze lapping at the water while I glided and paddled around. it was serene and enjoyable. I really like kayaking and go whenever I get a chance.

2. The Rodeo: The Days of ’49 Rodeo was in town at the Energy Solutions Arena (Now called Vivint Arena) and we had gotten tickets. It was amazong, and we immediately purchased tickets for the 2nd day. We got to meet a lot of the riders and get autographs. The winner of the barrel racing contest was a 10 year old girl – she was amazing. We had a conversation and picture with the reigning champion the day before. It was a lot of fun.

  1. And the best moment of the year – The spa massage and fun in Park City for my Birthday: My mate treated me to a lovely massage which I enjoyed. I had not ever had a professional massage before so it was pretty cool. We walked around park city and had dinner at High West which is always a good place.

So you see, 2016 had it’s good moments. I would not say that it was the best year I had ever experienced – it in fact may have been the worst. But there are always good moments and bright sides to every storm. And these were the best 10 of them. I’d like to end it on this lovely note, but I have one more blog entry to write. The worst moments of 2016. I had debated to even write it, because I think in my previous blog I explained why I hated 2016, but this will put it into better perspective.